my full time vacation

2012-01-29T17:32:00.001-08:00

boom boom boom, just like THAT i'm off to central america for a month tomorrow. gunna go to language school, then travel around. got my packing done and my room clean!

2011, living in the past....just for a sec.

2011-12-31T12:09:00.000-08:00

i just sent off a 2011 list to tobi, for jigsaw. I'd already been hitting the coffee pretty seriously by the time it was finished, and found myself thrown deep down the nostalgia rabbit hole that i kind of spend most of my time teetering on the brink of. so, i the spirit of self indulgence, which, as far as i can tell, is the spirit of blogging itself, here is my extended list of the shit that made 2011 a seriously intense and amazing year:

Going through a gnarly breakup: I quit my job, I moved out of my apartment, I started seeing a therapist, I spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling from the futon. I realized how it felt to have boundaries crossed and manipulated. I noticed my own shitty patterns. I walked out of a tornado and a year later, I can barely make out what happened. Maybe I don't ever want to go through that again, but at least I came out the other end.

Crude Thought and Hysterics- They rule. These are my two favorite bands to see live.

12:01 January 1st, 2011 at Dumpster Values- i think this charmed my whole year. So many lady drummers working this amazing sound. So cool to feel like the new year was coming in on some kind of positive, powerful wave. I went home after this and puked. At the time, I didn't feel so great about that, but maybe with a year between us, I can look back more fondly and see it as some kind of gross and positive omen.

azealia banks' "212"- this song got stuck in my brain and all i wanted to do was listen to it over and over again. it seemed to me that every time it was reviewed or mentioned, folks were seriously hung up on how raunchy it was. it doesn't seem that raunchy to me, but maybe just because i've listened to it a thousand times? (I guess, no more or less raunchy than anything else). this was the song that warmed me to people when they liked it, and cooled me to people when they just didn't get it.

the nuts release party- everyone put this show on their list because it was a seriously magical day. my favorite part was being there early, seeing all of these people visiting from out of town while all the kids were running around and playing in the space with the sun shining and bands starting to play. reading everyone elses' descriptions of the night, i feel a little square, but that was the part that made me feel so happy-- watching people trickle in and out as the crowd slowly grew, hanging out with buddies, children and grown ups and everyone really stoked to be there. also, i feel like a square a lot of the time, but whatever, i'm my own little weirdo, and i live my life differently than other people and they than mine, and i-t-s-n-o-t-a-b-i-g-d-e-a-l-!

the CLPP (Civil Liberties and Public Policy) conference at Hampshire College- I was able to go to this conference while I was on the East Coast this past April, and it totally blew my mind. So many people gathered together to fight for reproductive justice, it was so empowering and exciting. The panels and workshops were all super exciting and informative, but the closing plenary was seriously electric-- academics and activists were standing up in their seats to chime into a discussion that exploded into something beyond what I could have ever imagined possible. The auditorium was completely packed with people, and what had been presented as a panel discussion totally morphed into this amazing and totally positive and excited and deeply important talk on race, gender, sexuality, privilege and oppression... it felt so wonderful to be in a space and see this conversation modeled in such an inclusive and responsible way, to be surrounded by so many strong and brilliant people.

The end of the Red House- fuck, this could have been such a bummer. It's pretty miserable to walk by the house now and see it looking so sad with it's salmon-pukey paint and nothing going on. hanging out with gina and joey by the paddling pool and yardsale, walking up to the house with everyone milling around i the sun...I wish I could burn that days' feelings into my mind, so even if I somehow forget how much that house and the people who lived in it shaped my life in this town, i'll at least have some shock waves to lug around with me. Damn, that house was one of my favorite places in the world. drinking old english on the roof with marty, sleeping in april's bed, hanging out on the couch, shows in the basement, talking about boys with gina, cooking dinner and trying to find a clean dish....

Love and Rockets- I know this is absolutely not specific to 2011, but I spent a while this autumn tuned out from the rest of the world, drinking coffee and reading Locas. I guess if this is on the list, I've got to round it out with everything else that made me feel sentimental/nostalgic/unstoppable:
Erick Lyle's "on the lower frequencies"
Al burien's "Things are meaning less"
Trini Dalton's "Wide eyed"
this zine called "riding freight trains across the country is not the only way to risk everything with your friends"

Mother News and Doris- talking about tiny ponies with friends everywhere who've all read that issue of doris has made with world feel a little more connected. I am always so stoked to get the new issue of mother news in the mail and find batman and feel so relieved that this is out there.

rotating house game night - thanks to ben russel, lucy and chris and others for helping make this autumn and winter more bearable. i love playing apples to apples with people who hate the policestate.

wugazi- have you heard this? my friend danielle's date showed it to us while we were all hanging out, talking about woowoo vibes in the pacific northwest. My favorite tangent of 2011.

Gina's "Shit's fucked" zine- this might be the best zine I've read this year. So simple and so helpful (especially in the sense that when I read it, I feel like I'm sitting in the same room as my long-lost, gone-to-california buddy). This is some real talk self help.

Running with my mom- I wish I could have done this earlier, when my mom could still run further, but I didn't, so that's that and this is wonderful. I love visiting my family and going on runs around New York with my mom. She's got so many years of experience finding funny little routes and I love chatting with her as we go.

Easter Weekend- Blair, Caroline and Kendra made this one of the most memorable buddy hangouts of my whole life. Seriously the best day ever.

I guess there's probably more, but here are some of the things that I wanna take care of in 2012..

-I'd like to set myself a running goal. I was thinking 1000 miles in 2012, but maybe that's pushing it? 20 miles a week? I can do it. there we go. 1000 miles in 2012!!!

-I'm going to take better care of my time. I'm sick of feeling drained and overworked. Fuck that, I'm working food service and it isn't worth it. I want to go back to school in September and live my life for myself.

-I'll think of more later

--oh, i just did! I'm gunna write better letters this year!

you got anything? does anyone read this? what are you going to do next year? what ruled so hard this past year? when was the last time you brushed your teeth? I JUST WANNA KNOW WHATS UP!???!?!?

2011-12-06T21:58:00.001-08:00

when i was a freshman in college i lent this guy i was crushing on a copy of things are meaning less. what's up with how little my cultural worldview has changed that i'm still referencing the same shit that blew my mind when i was 17? why can't i just do my laundry and get a job in publishing or something. date a 40 year old who's a lot smarter than i am. ai, i wanna live in a city.

can you play this song at my funeral?

2011-11-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

2011-11-25T12:21:00.001-08:00

2011-11-11T11:17:00.000-08:00

so, in february i'll be going down to Guatemala to study Spanish at the PLQE mountain school. I'm going to meet my dad in Mexico and hang tuff with pops for a week before coming home. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get from Xela to Mexico City, and where I should stop on the way.

2011-10-29T10:47:00.000-07:00

oh shit, my name is hannah and i am a girl in the world, growing out her hair, reading books and chilling out. yo, check this: how come all my friends can't live in the same place, i'm gunna write about THAT for national novel writing month. boom boom boom, happy halloween.

2011-10-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

halloween is coming up. here are some costume ideas:

siouxsie sioux
a sick cat with a cone over its little head

2011-10-13T22:06:00.000-07:00

today was one of those days when i missed being a smoker so terribly. all i wanted to do was casually chain smoke. goddamnit!!!!

2011-10-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

tomorrow at 10:30am, i'm hangin up 218 old photographs at the capitol theatre. i'm supposed to hang up 250-300, but two of the rolls of film that i'd planned on developing got exposed to the ravages of the sun and totally perished. this has been a weird experience for me. my mom nicely went through my old bedroom and found all of the squirrel hoards of photos i'd buried over the years. i've been staring at these hundreds of photos a lot over this past week and it's starting to feel like the kind of nightmare intro from an old timey cartoon where you descend into a swirling maelstrom of cackling math teachers and bicycles (which reminds me, suddenly, that there weren't any pictures of cathal and my halloween costumes from 2006 or 2005, can't remember...whichever one where we were an owl and speed racer), except i'm stuck at the moment right before you touch down and the alternate dream narrative/hefelumps-and-woozles-song-and-dance-number kicks in. just staring at all of the ominous pieces of history without any of the in between moments to wind them together into any kind of thread-of-a-story.

so here's some stuff i've learned about this very particular documentation of my past:
-i often stick my finger in front of part of the lens
-we got wasted a lot in highschool
-i smoked like a chimney
-i took a lot of photos of my closest friends, many of whom i don't hang out with anymore....paola, ariel, cara...
-group shots are always really boring
-alexia is really funny
-i only have 10 friends

uuuhhhh, sorry i haven't scanned any of the good ones, so you'll just have to take my word for it, but i HAVE managed to have captured some pretty ok moments. not 218 of them, there's a lot of filler....but, whatever.

OH! also! i figured out a band that's from the last 10 years that i like that isn't from olympia, and it's the black lips. weird, huh?

OH! also also! here's a link to my flickr

2011-10-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

stuff i'm really into right now

-chili bean paste
-hanging out by myself
-anti pasti
-looking through photos
-grace paley
-thinking about what kind of life i would be living if i sold all of my clothes and started grad school and learned spanish
-not looking at facebook right now
-playing apples to apples with buddies and realizing that i'm totally in line with the same freaky weirdness that we're all into
-miso soup
-tidying up the kitchen
-hoping i'll get something in the mail
-

stuff that's really bringing me down

-that i'm breaking out like a 15 year old
-my paycheck
-my wrist is fucked up from making kombucha and i can't really afford to quit
-facebook
-everyone's facebook updates
-the stuff people post on each others' facebook pages
-not being able to stop staring at facebook
-the united states government
-how i wish i wanted to go running today
-"my career"
-how come i never wanna party anymore!?!?!?!?!
-

2011-09-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

i am feeling grumpier than ever and thinking about how nice it would be to fall in love and get the fuck out of olympia. i'm stuck in a worm hole where all i do is read comic books and go running and eat candy and wish things were different. there. a little insight into some seriously boring plod-of-time-shit to pour into the internet ether.

2011-09-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

hi oliver! sorry, i guess this is a little gross, but i don't think anyone reads this blog but you. i miss you, brother. i kind of want to talk on the phone, but i'd much rather just hang out. how about you come and visit me again? we can climb mt. rainier or mt. st. helens if that'll get you here. or you could send me a letter.

2011-08-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

2011-08-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

i don't know where i'm expecting to get a ride to, but i've been checking the craiglist rideshare a few times a day as i do my embarrassing internet sweep of weird recipe blogs, pictures of shoes, youtube videos, missed connections and free stuff. I guess I've replaced new job and new house with getting the hell outta dodge.

i'm also on cup of coffee #2, and i can feel the nervousness setting in. i don't really have enough time to go running today, but i think i might have to if i can't shake this feeling (that i seriously brought on myself and am entirely responsible for). I've been running a lot recently, and my mornings have begun to follow this script:

SHE WAKES UP. SQUINTS AT CLOCK, CAN'T SEE IT THROUGH CLUTTER ON DESK, DOESN'T CARE. STARTS TO CARE, SITS UP IN BED TO SEE CLOCK, REALIZES THAT THERE'S NO STOPPING IT NOW AND SHE'S AWAKE. 7AM. LIES HEAD BACK DOWN AND STARES AT CLOCK FOR HALF AN HOUR. THEN,

(internally) hannah: i don't want to go running today. i don't need to. i can take a day off.

SHE THROWS OFF THE BLANKETS, LEAVING THEM CRUMPLED ON HER BED AS SHE GOES TO WASH HER FACE. FROM THERE, SHE HEADS TO THE KITCHEN WHERE SHE MAKES COFFEE. RETURNS TO THE BEDROOM WITH MUG AND SITS IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER TO READ BLOGS, FACEBOOK AND PLAY SCRABBLE (BADLY). FINISHES CUP OF COFFEE, BRIEFLY EXITS, RETURNS WITH FULL MUG.

HALFWAY THROUGH SECOND MUG,

(internally) hannah: oh no. i feel weird. i drank too much coffee. I've gotta go running. just a short run.

PUTS ON RUNNING CLOTHES AND SHOES, EXITS. RETURNS AN HOUR LATER, DRIPPING WITH SWEAT, HAVING RUN 6 MILES WITHOUT PLANNING ON IT AGAIN.

i've also expanded my dreamdate to include BOTH watching a meteor shower and eating sugar cereal, as opposed to the previous one or the other scenerio. gotta dream big to fall in LUV!

i started an etsy shop!

2011-07-12T07:46:00.000-07:00

http://www.etsy.com/shop/totallydreaming

i swear it'll get better!

2011-06-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

updater!!!!

2011-06-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

so babies, here's a running list of names get stuck in my head: oi polloi, scritti politti

just two, but i like their rhyme.

New Issue of the Hair Zine is out!!!

2011-01-21T16:22:00.000-08:00

Issue #2 of the Hair Zine: Friends and Family is finally out. Featuring interviews with two moms on cancer, one mom comic, one dad story, and an interview with a hairdresser. new issue features a centerfold and bag of hair.

my VHS collection

2011-01-09T13:59:00.000-08:00

As of January 9, 2011

The pink panther strikes again
the Red Balloon
Diary of a mad housewife
episode #14 of the prisoner
episode #1 of twin peaks
The Princess Bride
Reality Bites
The Jesus and Mary Chain : videos 1985- 1989
Sonic Youth: Screaming fields of sonic love
Being John Malcovich
Drowning Mona
Sliding Doors
Stranger than paradise
Tank Girl
Hannah and Her sisters
Phat Beach
Nine Months

DVDs are:

Paper Rad: Trash Talking
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Fabulous stains (old bootleg)
Le Samourai
Branded to Kill
Take the Money and Run

in other news, this is the list that's making me feel best about my lazy old overworked self right now. time to leave the house and buy some coffee for goodness sakes. time to take a terrific vacation to the warmest place to be found instead of poaching candy canes off of the faded christmas tree in search of a fleeting sugar rush.time to quit patting myself on the back for a motley list of movies i barely make it all the way through.

blllllllaaaaaaahhhhh.

my map!

2010-09-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

this is the map i made for the olympia film festival. it took a lot longer than it looks.

wikepedia

2010-07-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

Bragg's demo tape initially got no response from the record industry, but by pretending to be a television repair man, he got into the office of Charisma Records' A&R man Peter Jenner.[8] Jenner liked the tape, but the company was near bankruptcy and had no budget to sign new artists. Bragg got an offer to record more demos for a music publisher, so Jenner agreed to release them as a record. Life's a Riot with Spy Vs. Spy was released in July, 1983 by Charisma's new imprint, Utility. Hearing DJ John Peel mention on-air that he was hungry, Bragg rushed to the BBC with a mushroom biryani, so Peel played a song from Life's a Riot with Spy Vs. Spy although at the wrong speed (since the 12" LP was, unconventionally, cut to play at 45rpm).[8] Peel insisted he would have played the song even without the biryani, and later played it at the correct speed.

2010-06-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

my latest wikepedia searches: "major tom" and "stress management".
i'm making a top secret mix to get me out of this rut. secret ingredient-- lots of nick lowe, absolutely no fucking metal, i'm so sick of fucking metal. even black sabbath.

2010-05-09T09:39:00.001-07:00

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

2010-04-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

all i do is eat food, go running, watch youtube videos and remember the times in my life when i hung out with friends. let's go drink beer in the afternoon and pump the jams get funky.

2010-03-18T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's the end of March, a wonderful time in the world. Allergy-free, thank GAWD, I'm able to see the trees through clear little eyes and smell the smells through uncrusted nostrils. Contrary and Stubborn as ever, not to mention hopelessly behind the times, I've decided to settle on some New Years Resolutions. What a miserable time to turn over, in January. Much better to wait until misery can be squashed down for another nine months. SO, this year, I, Hannah Horovitz, r, e, s, o, l, v, e, , , , t , , ,o,,,,,

1. Collect as many items designed or written By Leanne Shapton. This resolution actually, really, sort of doubles as a resolution to do more than just scramble desperately at every book I can get for cheap at the library book sales and be more thoughtful about how pretty everything looks on the shelf, as well as how perfectly intelligent I can make myself appear.

2. Run a lot. More than a mile. check. More than 3 miles. check. More than 5 miles. Check. I will continue to shock and amaze even myself, if not others, with my motivation, stamina and wheedling others to join me on jogs around routes I've mapped out on google.

3. Don't fucking date anyone. In the spirit of youth and lust for life, I will be thoroughly disappointed in myself if I fail to break this resolution, but there's nothing like being able to say "I told you so" to your very own destroyed self that spares those around you from enduring the endless recounting of the ravages of failed romance.

4. Focus more on creating and less on looking at photos on the internet. Ideas: embroidery, songs about how little care I have for Tom Waits and fans of that man, chipper letters to friends and mom, figuring out how I can buy and decorate a nice little house all of my own, managing to get into grad school without any motivation or effort.

5. Just because the cookies I've made are gluten and sugar free does not mean that I'm not going to feel sick when I eat five of them, even if it's just to see if they taste ok.

6. Grow my hair long enough to tie it into a side bun.

7. Have sales of embroidery and patches fund or supplement my internet and real-life record shopping problem.

8. Nix dichotomies and binaries in favor of more nuanced outlooks and perspectives.

9. Work on breaking out of negative cycles and making different mistakes than the ones my parents and theirs before them have made.

10. Go live on that farm with Erika and Jonna in TN and see if I can talk them into learning to rollerblade with me. From there, go on to suggest that we revolutionize the transportation we rely on to include goofy foot powered options.

What I did today: best day ever?

2010-02-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

1. Woke up and talked to Brandon on the phone.
2. Thought some intense thoughts and walked downtown. Wrote down intense thoughts.
3. Running Club.
4. Buffet Club.
5. Listening to Another Clean EP that came in the mail today. Drinking a pot of French Press.

2010-02-06T09:52:00.000-08:00

last night i dreampt of running and the misfits.I woke up this morning thinking of Ghost Town, a book I began reading because of its endpapers. They're maps.

I hate winter, I hate winter so much. I hate winter more than anything right now. I'm pouring all of my frustration and dissatisfaction into my hatred of winter. I wrote 7 letters the other day and I plan to write more today. I'm going to look at jobs in other cities now.

things that i'm interested in, just in general

2010-01-24T10:27:00.001-08:00

1. making mixtapes off youtube: the nerves, the urinals, the verlaines, the saints, jewel....
2. elephant six covering flying nun.

i guess really elf power's nothing's going to happen in it's entirety..
3. The Silver Surfer
4. Embroidery
5. Tweaking out pretty hard on too much coffee
6. My dear diary bedroom.
7. not writing things down
8. thinking about boys, abstractly
9. ignoring a vague sense of impending doom and dissatisfaction, choosing instead to focus on the manic optimism of recent astrological predictions from the stranger's horoscopes.
10. fully lacking any motivation to drag myself out of bed in the morning and do anything other than listen to music on the internet and cruise ebay for nothing special.

and, as a secret aside into my life, i've been having to talk myself down from having a second pot of coffee in the morning.

2010-01-21T20:46:00.000-08:00

This just in: from Dinosaurs and Robots, on Bill Cunningham

Someone needs to sit Bill Cunningham down pronto and start prying all his other fashion secrets out of him. That man is a national treasure.

this is the greatest slideshow that has ever existed.

2010-01-06T23:16:00.000-08:00

today i realized that it's going to be an awfully long time before i fall in love again. it's 2010 and i live in olympia, wa and nothing now couldn't happen later, except for its happening now. a boy that don't like me made me a mixtape and i just don't get it. i wanna learn to drive through southern california and be a different girl for a while, with wind in her hair and shiny teeth and suntanned legs with freckly knees. happy new year, time to eat nachos.

That girl be glowing through town

2009-12-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

My plan for the winter was to hole up in my blanket fort bedroom, getting stoned and watching john waters movies. all i'http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifve been doing is drinking coffee, eating junky health food and listening to my pixie's bossanova cassette over and over again. wacky winter.

my family before me. serious glossing going on.

2009-11-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

last night I dreamed that I was being told I talk about myself too much.

2009-11-15T05:16:00.001-08:00

Now I live in Olympia, WA. Here is me and the fridge.

Things are ok!

2009-11-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

2009-11-09T06:38:00.001-08:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

My imaginary life in Iowa Cityhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

2009-11-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

I'll wake up in the morning in my Spacious one-bedroom apartment. I'll ride my bike over to volunteer at the Museum of Natural History before my classes. I'll be working towards my Masters in Library and Information Science, with a Certificate in Book Arts. I plan to take some sexuality studies clashttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifses as well.

when I have some spare time, I will play with my pet goat. I won't have a lot of free time, though, as I will be so busy with my radio show on Radio Iowa City, my community garden plot, my part time job, my band, maintaining the newly established doily museum, learning to drive my awesome car, and making out with my boyfriend.

I'll eat dinner here and shop here. I'll pick up my birth control here

2009-11-02T11:23:00.001-08:00

2009-11-01T11:29:00.001-08:00

2009-11-01T03:59:00.000-08:00

(from when I was in Berlin)

(from koepi)

(from flickr)

(from forward youth)

(from portland indymedia)

Last night, I dreampt of the most beautiful squat. I watched the crusty guy step out of a shuttered building and open up the storefront with a metal pole. Then he uncovered every window, going higher and higher to the 3rd and 4th stories. There were folks leaning out the windows, yelling to one another. There was a dolphin on the 2nd floor and papercraft spilling out of the building in all sorts of colors.

Yesterday was my kind-of lst day of work, for Albert at least. I've got a shift on tuesday and that's the end. I bet I start liking New York a lot more without the hell-schedule.

bang on

2009-10-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

hi kendra!
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
last of the druids

seeing your soul in photographs

2009-10-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

the past few nights have been full of crazy dreams, all anxiety and worry and fears leaking out and soaking into every dream-spot. last night was imagined disco balls spilling light and sound and video across rooms and walls and faces, such a change from rejection and disappointment ballooning out of control and ruining any hope for restful sleep. It's so different to wake up awake. I'm escaping New York on November 14th, back to Olympia for however long. I've got an idea of what's out there and I'm ok with it. I feel like molasses and roofing tar and toothpaste and I want to be alone and listen to the Clash and The Breeders and Brian Eno. SO THERE!

the best thing i ever wrote

2009-10-26T04:28:00.000-07:00

[26 Feb 2007|12:29am]
today i felt used up and out of touch. i like riding my bike in the snow. i like the sound of snowflakes hitting trees, and the way it coats my tires when i ride through drifts. i do that on purpose, even though it's not a very good idea. it's satisfying. this summer we're going to ragtag around and get drunk in the woods with our sun-kissed faces and skinned knees and grass-stained bike-chained shins. maybe it's not true at all, but it's the calming sort of open-invitation that lets me sleep at night. i want the world to be a better place than i think it is, and I want to be in it or above it, but not dragged through it. of course it won't happen, because growing up kills that sort of thing, and thinking about beauty and good looks and adulthood hurts something in me. i take it all too seriously.

my cultural commentary of the hour.

2009-10-15T20:40:00.001-07:00

ashley from top chef is a total BABE!

oh

2009-10-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling mightily panicked, tomorrow I'm supposed to hang out with my mom, but I think I might dick out and reread Things are Meaning less before I go out to the movies and watch Stranger than Paradise at BAM.

Drop out, I wanna join a gym and listen to the Cramps every moment of every day.

2009-09-27T00:03:00.000-07:00

i watched the holy mountain at 12:15 am with kendra. The latest I've been awake in months, unless you're counting vacation. I feel like possibilities are just pawing at the ground, lurking in the shadows of the near-future just out of sight, and i'm scrambling to draw them close and stare them down and see what they're made of, but they just scamper away the moment I brush up against them. I'm quitting my job to force them out from the dusk, to shine a spotlight into the corners and give myself to potential.

2009-09-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

I'm moving into the houseboat TODAY!

no sleep in brooklyn

2009-09-15T23:31:00.000-07:00

oh gawd, i can't listen to the replacements if i'm trying to fend off worry and an aching heart.

2009-09-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

so I was just having a conversation with a person in my bedroom and as I sat leaning on the edge of my bed, talking about tarot and mysticism, trying to articulate my thoughts on how we process our worries and concerns, I had the uncanny feeling (and it was certainly a feeling, not a thought) that I didn't exist outside of my voice and body. My thoughts and ideas were only real as I heard myself speak them aloud, and that I was completely and totally alone, inside myself. I've never, not even once in my life, had this feeling before, and I know this because it was wholly shocking and unfamiliar. The closest I've come is the feeling I often had, when I was younger, that I was desperately afraid of growing old and dying. I felt as though when that person left the room, I would be lost and untethered and floating. It was like emotional vertigo, and I'm all shook up.

two feelins and a troof

2009-08-30T05:44:00.000-07:00

1. i'm moving onto a houseboat.
20. i'm so tired all the time i don't see the point of working so much other than this nagging sense of obligation.
54. i am feeling super burned out, i'm bogging in the deets.

extra: don't wanna be a girlfiend and i don't watch tv shows.

cold chili

2009-08-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

me and my new best friend, blair's pregnant cat, are having some quality hang out time near the computer.

2009-07-15T18:24:00.000-07:00

i'm taking a break from taco-blogging to point out that hugh grant is (kind of) a dead ringer for a young andrew jackson.

my taco-blogging is gunna move outta town, to a new spot at http://tacosummer.blogspot.com/

the neverending taco

2009-07-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

well gosh, i'm really falling off this taco wagon. taco truck.

these are my taco stories these past days:
july 6th: too late taco night. i almost lost hope and bought a plane ticket instead. roommate came home as promised, later than expected, but the damage was done and i was feelin' all anxious and angry. picked some little fights over bean tacos with mango salsa and leftovers from grub. felt like a jerk and slept fitfully after eating too much sugar.

july 7th: worked my 14 hour day, returned home on bicycle, failing in my pectin-procurement mission. no red currant jelly yet. as i rode my bike down st. marks st. sans mes mains, i decided that my tacos would be tempeh with squash and onions. they were delicious.

by the way, i know that this must be so boring to read. a food blog with no pictures and some pretty bland meal descriptions, more than spattered with(practically obscured by!!) inane anecdotes and tangential thoughts. luckily, this particular blog all but exists in a vacuum, so i'm not feelin' too guilty. maybe i will start drawing pictures of my tacos, or eating in front of the computer. you know, for visual interest.

2009-07-05T22:20:00.000-07:00

i'm too sleepy to really talk about tacos, butttt

july 4th: independence taco: eaten alone at home. tofu, tomato, avacado
july 5th: breakfast taco: eggs as tortillas with avacado and greens inside.

my tacos will get alot better, as i brought home some salsa from grub. i also found a spot on myrtle ave that's got mexican grocery stuff up front and a restaurant in back. gunna go! (i might go to my brothers in dirty jerz on tuesday night. fun?!)

2009-07-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

taco day 3
worked late and didn't eat dinner til 9pm. made myself a tofu and zucchini taco with watercress. total hippy fest. now i'm super tired.

day two of my self-imposed taco challange

2009-07-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

july is tacos-everyday-month.

day 1.
frustrated dinner of one taco, mushroom with salsa and avacado from a mexican restaurant somewhere in crown heights. it was very tasty, but the experience was tarnished by anxiety about being the only person not drinking and also being too tired and eating too late with too many people around.

day 2.
shitty lunch at chipotle in the middle of an insane torrential downpour. chipotle sucks and the only way to make it better is with a lot of hotsauce. also, they don't have corn tortillas for tacos????? bummer, man. whatever, it's a taco and as i'm only too days in, I don't think i've got much to complain about. maybe i'll eat tacos for dinner too!

stay tuned for 28 more taco stories...

2009-06-26T06:11:00.000-07:00

some of my major interests at the moment:

rude interviews on television

indie rock bands from the 1980s and 1990s reuniting!!!

moving into a different apartment

why is it always raining?

i love craigslist, pt. II

2009-06-26T05:52:00.000-07:00

new york craigslist > brooklyn > domestic gigs
please flag with care:

miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
"Goth" style living room needed for feature film ($$ for you)
Reply to: gigs-v6y8c-1239632108@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-25, 5:00PM EDT

We are a small brooklyn production company making a feature film. We need to shoot a very short scene in a "goth" style living room. It would be great if your walls were purple, red, or black. $200 for a half day. Reply if you are interested!

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $200

PostingID: 1239632108

* Copyright © 2009 craigslist, inc.
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* privacy policy
* feedback forum

2009-06-20T12:26:00.001-07:00

Photographer: Hannah Horovitz Date: 2009-06-18
Description: Joey Casio and Leah Cipolla from The Vibrarians.
Artist(s): - The Vibrarians - Joey Casio
http://www.krecs.com/html/artists/pictureday.php?form=display&pict=POD1245350201

i miss olympia again.

from kennedy

2009-06-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

1. What is your current obsession? messthetics comps and eating too much sugar

2. What is your weirdest obsession? my own creative output, the jesus and mary chain

3. What do you see outside your window? dog shit

4. What is your favourite colour? green

5. What is your weakness? feeling unhappy

6. What animal would you be? a hedgehog or a flamingo

7. What would you like to learn how to do? build more things

8. What do you want to never happen in life? I don't want to live a life apart from people i care about.

9. What is on your bedside table? a lot of mugs, some money, a handkerchief,

10. What's the last thing you bought? beer

11. What do you think about the person that tagged you? i think kennedy's fantastic. let's be penpals again.

12. What was your favourite children's book? black beauty, the castle in the attic, the little princess

13. Who do you want to meet in person? yoko ono

14. What did you want to be as a child? a major league pitcher, a marine biologist, an artist

15. What did you dream about last night? i don't remember already.

16. Which do you prefer, day or night? forever daytime

17. What's your favourite piece of clothing in your closet? my weird cotton snoopy-runaway shirt

18. What's your plan for tomorrow? i'll work during the day, bike to university of trash, then go to a party

19. What would you like to get your hands on right now? an immediate escape

20. What is your must have of the moment? a bigger window

21. What's your favourite tea flavour?

22. If you could go anywhere is the world right now, where would you go? olympia

oh. i gotta tag people. ryan and joe? does anyone even read this thing?

something i wrote in february of 2007, and right now i feel alone.

2009-06-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

i like riding my bike in the snow. i like the sound of snowflakes hitting trees, and the way it coats my tires when i ride through drifts. i do that on purpose, even though it's not a very good idea. it's satisfying. this summer we're going to ragtag around and get drunk in the woods with our sun-kissed faces and skinned knees and grass-stained bike-chained shins. maybe it's not true at all, but it's the calming sort of open-invitation that lets me sleep at night. i want the world to be a better place than i think it is, and I want to be in it or above it, but not dragged through it. of course it won't happen, because growing up kills that sort of thing, and thinking about beauty and good looks and adulthood hurts something in me. i take it all too seriously.

um....

6 months ago, i was dating a person i didn't love. i'm still feeling horrible about a thing that ended a year ago. or more. i hate that my mind is full of failed romance and i can't break out of myself and move past my own hurt. summer's here and i'm not in it.

the truth i've seen in the world, through my very own eyes and no one elses.

2009-05-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

1. haiku for my neighbors

will you please pick up
the dog shit by my window
it stinks in the rain

2. the correlation between my misery and the frequency of checking my voicemail is insubstantial and false. at the best of times, i'm bad at it, and right now i'm miserable.

3. i'm also passive aggressive.

4. our whole lives are a struggle, we've gotta love the way we struggle, and accept that sometimes the struggle itself is the entire experience. we've gotta remember that someone will always disagree, and be struggling for something different.

2009-05-24T05:23:00.000-07:00

diamond as big as the ritz

the twenty one balloons

2009-05-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

i woke up at 8:30 and read . then i planted in the garden, then i went to a hare krishna temple for lunch. then i sat in bergen street comics and read jeffrey brown and fantagraphics comics for a few hours. then i came home and i've been snacking and watching fishing with john for the last couple of hours. i discovered that we have a mouse. yesterday i painted my bathroom with chalkboard paint, the 2nd coat while i was slightly intoxicated and certainly exhausted. it's a little sloppy.

I wanna have crushes on boys, dunno who to crush out on. don't hang out with anyone really. i think it's just the graphic novels talking. i think it's just the new york city talking. i think it's the lonely bikerides talking. there's no way it could be me talking, because i don't wanna date cute boys or ever have fun or exciting times. at some point i've gotta own up to romance cravings. the internet seems like a good place to start.

i've had about 6 cups of coffee today.

2009-05-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

J.B House

i love craigslist.

2009-04-18T05:57:00.000-07:00

Free cats rescued from a satanic cult leader (nyc)
Reply to: sale-fenjm-1127752911@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-17, 10:24PM EDT

You can have the kitty beds , food, litter huge new bags full . The two cats are clean and beautiful. This lady's brother just dropped them off here before she did something bad to them. Sadly, I'm moving and can't take them.

* Location: nyc
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1127752911

2009-04-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

booking at trip to olympia for june 9th through june 19th. i've been feeling overwhelmed and overworked recently. i've got a job that i'll be starting on sunday, selling essential oils at brooklyn flea. Warm weather, I want you. I spend so much time by myself and I like it that way, mostly.

THEME FOR THE SUMMER: "SPRITZERS ON ICE IN NEW YORK CITY"

Marble Rye
Queen's Park Swizzle
Mint Julep
Garden Party
Limoncello Spritzer

just imagine everything with club soda and ice and a pair of old shorts and that's what i want. camping on the weekends, late night bike rides, i love it.

just stretching

2009-04-14T09:21:00.001-07:00

Make your own animation at Gickr.com

2009-04-07T18:09:00.001-07:00

Bob

2009-03-31T08:20:00.001-07:00

2009-03-28T05:51:00.000-07:00

calder's (steamin')circus

lately: bowled over by waves of sentimental horseshit and nostalgia. spending money on books that make my heart seize up. listening to Alex Chilton and left of the dial on repeat. Gawd, I can barely even stand it! Spend a few days in Providence, totally into it. Don't have time to figure it out, gotta get to the farmers market

2009-03-11T22:11:00.000-07:00

on one hand, i am staying up too late eating candy, and on the other hand, i am processing my past and future. i've been temping all week, stuffing envelopes and gossiping with the other temps. tonight, walking home, someone was playing sentimental spanish music really loudly and I thought about abandoned buildings and things that ended a long time ago and how i eat too much sugar. it was a pretty obvious sort of logic-- self involvement tinged with nostalgia and a touch of corny bullshit. still, it feels nice to walk home after an evening of sitting on the floor smoking cigarettes, eating and making plans. sometimes i feel like my whole entire life is a mess of plans that I use to comfort myself and shape my identity, but that never reach fruition. it's time to follow through, to realize these ideas and step out from the shadow of what could have been. it's a really good thing that i don't have a job, because i don't have enough time for anything. i wish that Pascale Boucicaut, Cole Callahan, Max Roseglass, Erika Rumbley, Mark Strain, Gina Sarti, Kennedy Holmes, Caroline Goldsmith, Ashley and Anjelica Freeman would call me up, send me letters and be around.

worth reading

2009-03-05T20:52:00.000-08:00

i'm post-crush.

2009-02-26T15:15:00.000-08:00

i have been thinking about how nice it would be to bake and sell cookies for extra money. I need to get better at gluten free baking, but i've got vegan and regz down pat. i'm looking at bulk supplies on dutchvalleyfoods.com. If someone happens to have some weird bulk flour hookup, lemme know?

i just finished reading salman rushdie's shame, released 2 years before I was born. i'm not feeling eloquent enough to express my opinion at the moment, so i won't.

new york city food cooperatives:

south bronx food coop
flatbush food coop
east 4th st. food coop
park slope food coop

otherwise, i am lonely and sad and perhaps it is because i need to eat better food and maybe go running a few times a week.

2009-02-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

1. just made vegan rugelach for erika's going away party
2. all i do is listen to academy fight song

i'm not judging you, i'm judging me.

2009-02-18T20:26:00.000-08:00

my sister told me a story today that almost made me cry. i've been feeling restless and unhealthy. there's a place where i can take yiddish lessons on monday nights, think i might do it! i talked to mark on the phone tonight and felt really homesick and lonely for olympia. I'm going to try to stop eating sugar again, it's making me crazy and i'm breaking out and my face is always puffy. it's so cold too. i want to fix up my room and fix up my mood and fix up the future.

ew, have you heard the REM cover of academy fight song? it's so horrible.

EXTREME TAKING-PHOTOS-OF-MYSELF-AT-MIDNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
rules: lean as far back as possible and hit buttons with toes.

my brother sent me this photo of my grandma and uncle freddy

2009-02-18T07:13:00.000-08:00

today i am going to make dried apricot jam, hopefully to be a part of some gluten-free gingersnap sort of things.

an i hate new york day

2009-02-13T14:55:00.000-08:00

this morning I went to dreamland exhibit at the MoMA with Oliver. By the way (and Oliver, I

hope that this doesn't embarrass you), one of the things I love most in the world about my twin brother is hearing him play Benny and the Jets on the piano whenever we're at our parents house. Anyway, this dreamland exhibition was so rad. It was super small, which bummed me out a little-- I wanted it to be gigantic and lose-yourself expansive. It brought me back to the feeling I had the first time I looked through Delirious New York, realizing how mystical and magical an imagination of a city could really be. It was so different from any kind of urban theory I'd ever known before. I remembered that I bought Collage City by Colin Rowe and Fred Koetter right before I left Olympia, so I pulled it out from the jumbled mess of books I've got going, and that shit is tttiiiiiigghhhhttt! Here's some superstudio pictures from the internet:

ps: just to keep this thing legit, online journal style, I'm feeling super lonely and finicky today and I just can't seem to shake this crazy funk. Someone sent me flowers today , but I'm feeling too down and out to let my spirits get lifted. Sleep it off and be pumped tomorrow.

2009-02-10T07:39:00.000-08:00

my library card from 3rd grade still works, i've spent the morning watching replacements videos on youtube and putting books and videos and cds on hold at the nypl. i set up my room yesterday. i've been writing letters. i'm going to a yoga class at 12:30.

2009-02-06T18:32:00.000-08:00

so I've been trying to find a consensus or mediation training workshop or skillshare. I'm sure there's something out there, but in the time being I've been having a really fun time doing internet research. I've stumbled across a few articles, journals and websites that deal with radical teaching. Here's an article on working towards a non-hierarchical classroom that I liked. Some of my favorite classes at Vassar were team taught, and I think that within an interdisciplinary major, that helped to complicate traditional classroom hierarchies. I'd like to read more about different ways of disrupting classroom dynamics and working with a more consensus-based structure.

Here is a website with a lot of writing on consensus and meeting structure

On Conflict and Consensus: A handbook on formal consensus decisionmaking

Skillshare

I'm still feeling weirdly homesick. This morning I spent 4 hours doing inventory at a toy store in exchange for free yoga classes. kind of awesome. I just spaced out and counted dinosaur puzzles and books about pirates and farm animal friends. I picked up a job application for this fancy bakery. I ate a lot of soy ice cream and caramel tonight and I feel so achey from it. Now I'm going to write a letter to Gina!

2009-02-03T20:36:00.001-08:00

i want to be around people who love each other and know that life is a long party, because i'm not always like that, but i wish i was.

2009-01-28T08:56:00.000-08:00

2009-01-24T01:19:00.000-08:00

i am totally amending my plans. instead of making plans, i'm going to flake on them all and just hang out and go to parties every moment until i leave for new york. today i ate SO much pizza at the pizza buffet and also at work. i also realized that i'm going to miss olympia so much. then i drank a bud lite and walked home. the house is totally trashed, our drier's broken and i haven't done laundry in weeks. I need to give all my stuff away and be happy in new york. does anyone have an extra elastica record they would like to gift to me? i really want a copy of their self titled album. my sinuses are fucked from all the gluten, dairy and cigarettes i've been stuffing my face with, so i'm about to go to sleep and snore like a motherfucker. total mouthbreather. total bummer.

now and later

2009-01-19T12:25:00.000-08:00

today I rode my bike to work and the pizzeria was closed. short workweek this week. here is my list of today plans:
-make a mixtape. make 2 mixtapes!
-paint the lovers tarot card i started. start a new one.
-put together an address book with all of olympia's mailing addresses, so i can stay friends.
-go over to judd and rubin's and buy them chinese takeout and watch television.
-drop off a zipper at sarah's studio.
-see if rubin can special order the elastica self titled record.
-bake a cake and decorate it with my new beautiful dog cake toppers. take a photo of it.

new york plans:
-find a place to take yiddish lessons.
-sign up for both ballet AND pilates classes.
-find a letterpress studio to work with.
-finish my tarot deck.
-chill out and have fun and enjoy anonymity.
-learn how to crochet.

2009-01-13T00:52:00.000-08:00

all i've been doing is listening to john cougar melloncamp and husker du. I go to work and I come home to read about jewish mysticism and tarot. i made three tarot cards tonight. the fool is steve martin in a ring of ants, the magician is a lion breathing triangles and the hermit is a long lost old friend playing guitar. it's an intense project and I think I might buy a deck in the mean time. Moving back to New York on the 30th in a fit of not being able to deal with anything in my life. Don't have a place to live or a job, but I won't be in Olympia. I'm so sad to be leaving, I'll miss it so much, but I don't think it's a good idea for me to stay.

2008-11-22T15:38:00.000-08:00

from dinosaurs and robots:

"Then, there is the Los Angeles that I know. Aerospace surplus hardware stores, smoky and ashtray-less Koreatown English hunt club bars in crumbling hotel basements, perfect beer buzz lunches at the Farmer's Market in filtered sunlight, the wild dogs of Pacoima, sprawling thrift stores, trolling junkyards for old diaries and Polaroids, the drag races at Pomona, chrome plating shops, backyards stacked with 300 bicycles, gold miners eager to show their biggest nuggets, fishing for carp in the Los Angeles River, optimists taking over art museums, the nicad battery selection at Electronic City, the metal patination case at Industrial Metal Supply, Kit Kraft Hobby, the gem vault at the Natural History Museum, the szechuan peppercorns of Alhambra, the churlish bartenders at Hop Louie, the sneaker shops of Little Tokyo, the imported coldcuts at Monte Carlo Deli, the Japanese garden on the roof of the New Otani Hotel, the bicycle swap at the Encino Velodrome, the DDR kids at the Santa Monica Pier, the mustard at Philipes, the dimsum carts of Monterey Park, the carnitas at Carrillos, the buffalo at Hart Park, the Kris Special at the Waystation, the netsuke room at LACMA, the Remington Rolling Block at the Backwoods Inn, the coffee shop at the LA Police Academy, the abandoned restaurant with leather walls at Union Station, the yardage of the Garment District, the abandoned fire station in the Toy District with the quartersawn oak lockers viewable through the crack in the door, the first two rows of lowrider history at the Pomona Auto Swap, Abe Lincoln's hat at the Huntington Library, the camillia forest of Descanso Garden, the bolt room of Roscoe Hardware that is hidden in a kitchen remodeling home center, the genius at the Museum of Jurassic Technology, the chile pepper booth at the Grand Central Market, sneaking to the top balcony of the Bradbury Building, the threadbare and dented Variety Arts Center, the orange groves of the 126 and secret utility salvage yard in the northeast San Fernando Valley."

I'd like to take the time to make this sort of list for everywhere I've ever lived.

2008-10-21T01:18:00.000-07:00

every sentence from here on out starts with "i".

i've been feeling really unhealthy lately. emotionally and physically. i've had a difficult time figuring out how best to cope, and a hard time remaining positive. i thought that i was dealing with things better than i am, as it seems that i've really not dealt with much at all. i had a really long day and i feel completely drained. gotta be up early for work again. fuck.

tv time

2008-10-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

2008-10-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

new recipe: yogurt, coconut milk, agave and a freezer. frozen yogurt!

2008-09-30T20:15:00.000-07:00

listening to joy division and cooking dinner for friends. i made mac and cheese, roasted acorn squash, chocolate apple brownies and salad. i'm feel ok right now. pretty content about most things in my life. loose ends wrapped up, and i'm moving by november 1st. i've got a lot of stuff i should get rid of! i want to see mission of burma play in seattle on wednesday the 15th.

how i feel after another day of work

2008-09-22T00:30:00.000-07:00

greatest grift movies

2008-09-18T19:52:00.000-07:00

any ideas?

paper moon
the producers
midnight cowboy
run lola run?
raising arizona

what I'm thinking about today: the eleven

2008-09-15T23:23:00.001-07:00

1. I worked from 10am to 8:30pm.
2. I will no longer be sleeping with ex boyfriends.
3. brandon got back from his 10-day meditation retreat. I am intrigued and we have plans to work out at the ymca and dicuss his experiences. so far, i'm scared and into it.
4. david foster wallace died on friday. i'm listening to him on public radio right now. he wrote a supposedly fun thing i'll never do again, a collection of essays that i read and found immensely comforting when I first moved to olympia.
5. club mate. so delicious.
6. the american financial crisis. I will be closing my bank of america account this thursday.
7. KUOW, the local AM public radio station. I can only listen to AM stations on my radio, and I'm glad I've found this. Looking forward to listening to This American Life on saturdays at 11am.
8. I need to call carli about TCTV.
9. I'm reading a book by A.J. Liebling, called Back Where I Came From. it's a love letter to new york city at the turn of the century. it's so beautifully written. I have a soft spot for love-letter-to-new-york books, and songs:

10. all i want for my birthday is thousands of antique teacups and maybe some other stuff. I'm thinking of going on that meditation retreat for my birthday.
11.

I'm home

2008-09-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

I don't want to write about my life right now, i just want to watch these videos.

i don't like this song that much, but i think the audience parts are brilliant:

2008-09-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a theatre agency in Berlin, Germany, putting together excerpted reviews for press releases, I feel divided/conflicted/nervous/ill at ease/an entire sea of similar discriptive emotions about my experiences this past month. I left home at a surprisingly inconvenient time, just as conflicts were being addressed, new possibilities raised their heads and old relationships seemed finally laid to rest. I have only the slightest clue as to what it will be like to return home, and I'm not sure that I'm excited by it. I'm worried as to how I will fit back into my life, and concerned that rejection and disapointment will be inescapable. These past two weeks, particularly have given me ample oppurtunity to set myself up for these feelings, and I'm kicking myself for it. While the start of the tour was dazzling and vibrant and full of new people, I've found myself settling into an all-to-familiar domesticity that I had taken this trip to escape from in part. Within that, of course, I'm rediscovering dusty and forgotten parts of myself that I didn't know I missed. For this, I am thankful, and perhaps cannot explain the importance or personal significance of hours lost in a library, or the thrill of exploring and discovering the secrets of a city that may not excite anyone but myself.

I'll be back at home on Sunday, and I'm on the fence as to if I want to burrow back into Olympia and that life, or if I would prefer to shake it off, uproot and start anew. At the moment, so far from everything, I am tempted by the latter. I just finished reading Paul Auster's City Of Glass and was struck by how beautiful an oppurtunity it presents for shaking off the vestiges of your history and escaping life. I know I have a bad habit of blinding optimism in my interpretations, but I thought it showed less of a pitiful fall from grace and more of a rebirth. I might be a little starried- eyed from all those library hours.

my new old favorite food: the zucchini

2008-08-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

Today I would like to speak of my current favorite vegetable, the Zucchini. Not simply delicious, but delightfully nutritious (see chart), I would like to share my favorite preparations for this charming vegetable.

1. Sneak them into pancakes. No one else will like them, but I think they are really really really really tasty.
2. steam them until they're about to fall apart and then dip them in a mixture of nutritional yeast and mustard. it helps if they're heavily salted before you steam them. also, my version of steaming is more like boiling, since i'm never quite sure where the steamer basket is.
3. grated and tossed with lemon juice and olive oil.
4. in ratatouille, along with over-cooked eggplant, another old favorite.
5. not with cheese, i always thought that was totally gross.

I'm leaving for Europe in //\\//THA-REE\\//\\ days!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW, gunna have such a crazy good time and overdraw my bank account. here is my packing list:

-toothbrush and paste
-hair tie and brush
-2 pairs of socks
-4 pairs of underwear
-3 tshirts and 1 tanktop (or similar combination)
-1 pair shorts
-1 pair pants
-1 sweatshirt or cardigan
-1 flannel shirt
-1 pair earplugs
-1 summer dress
-1 sleeping bag
-1 book (to be traded unpon completion for another english book)
-trillions of dollars, worth nothing at all in europe

later.

shit's fucked up

2008-08-03T16:42:00.001-07:00

fun with face masks

2008-07-29T17:14:00.000-07:00

today my ebay casette package came in the mail.

the jam peel sessions,
new york rockers comp (television, the dictators, bad brains, james chance, richard hell and more)
duck and cover sst comp
wipers silver sail
wire document and witness
wire 8 different versions of the drill

i'm listening to the jam right now. i'm gunna see if i can find a misfits cassette and someone to move into a railroad apartment with me. i found my copy of old fashioned recipe book: an encyclopedia of country living. it's got a recipe for cabbage bread, my heart is won. seriously the greatest.

2008-07-23T00:02:00.000-07:00

ouch, i am feeling unhappy.

i like blogs about ebay

2008-07-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

today was summer thanksgiving. i walked my bicycle home from work, sweating. i rode to the co-op and back, cooked tofurkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. food-specked cans rolling from the recycling pile only spoke to the help I recieved from campbells and generic brand french cut beans. we all agreed it was really tasty. jean and i broke up and i'm too young to not make wild mistakes. all i want to do is go out on dates, except all i really want to do is not go out on any dates. you can catch me at the ymca at 8:30am tomorrow morning. i'll be sweaty. jesus and mary chain tomorrow night, i just bought my ticket. chris'll be in seattle, maybe we can stay up all night drinking coffee and eating little donuts. i really hope so, i miss that guy.

//////3 WEEKS 'TIL EUROPEAN VACATOUR'08\\\\\\

i keep having crazy dreams, but none of them are sexy, they're all a little gloomy.