Is this gauche? it's not really advertising...

My friend, Carrot, is trying to raise money for their book-writing adventure on kickstarter. They've written a train hopping novella is astounding-- not only is it a million times better than 'off the map' and other punk traveling stories, but it's a million times better than any other travel narrative out there. It's right up there with "Miles From Nowhere."

Carrot's writing lodged itself in my heart with this, one of the most heart stoppingly evocative, hopeful, wonderous piece of writing out there. Seriously, this is why writing is so fucking important.

You can pour your heart and hope into these words that remain after the feeling has passed, after you've sunk back into the regular drudgery of life. You don't need to be an inspiring magical conjurer all the time, and it would be pretty insuffereable if you were, but if you can figure out how to pin down that feeling of elation and hope and belief in possibility, then you've done it. Maybe it doesn't work on you anymore, but it's a charm out there in the world. I am also such a sucker for 2nd person narration, but only when it's memoir-y.

Here is a link to Carrot's kickstarter. I know that no one really reads this blog, but please donate if you can. I promise it's worth it.

still fucking HOMESICK

i'm on spring break and i wish i was in olympia.

to study

I finished my readings this morning at a laundromat, washing my disgusting gym clothes that have been mildewing in my locker at school for weeks, months, years. My advice to anyone: study at the laundromat. it's warm. It always smells of clean clothing, it sometimes smells of unwashed humans. The music is rebroadcast, song for song, of the hits of 1996. No one else is in there reading, not at 9am. Fuck the coffee shops and fuck the libraries, I love a laundromat.

the little things

1. free 40s at the Critical Art Ensemble's Block Party, plus orange juice on my food stamps.
2. I finally figured out how to important citations directly from zotero to open office...
3. 6 pages of bullshit into the infographics chapter of my thesis.
4. it's springtime.

I don't want to go back to school this week, I want to stay home and work on my paper.

too scared to check my bank account balance and I keep procrastinating from my real thesis by day dreaming about a fake thesis. the fake one is a critique of riot porn, arguing that the fetishization of dissent is truly disempowering and objectifying in a way that pornography isn't. this is the new friday night.

It's raining in Portland, OR and I'm too tired to think of it any way except drumming on the roof. i am always so tired now because i am trying to do so many things. exciting and exhausting and damn there's a lot of cracks for everything to slip through. every tuesday the sun rises and sets upon my empty little room. how's that for sentimental?

goodnight.

when I graduate I would like to go on a grand tour, visiting everyone I haven't seen this year. caution and money to the wind. massachusetts, san francisco, panama, england, india, new york. There. I said it, now I can go to school and present my my research.

A new library

Today, I discovered the library at the University a BLOCK from my house. Goodbye, coffeeshops. This is the greatest discovery I may have ever made. There are couches, tables and three floors. I will never try to work at school again, this place is a fucking HEAVEN.

I also found my soulmate, this is him: 

I really want facebook to stop telling me when people get engaged. It's fucking with my head.

Perfect morning

I spent the morning reading Vanessa Davis' Make Me a Woman and it's fucking amazing! I checked it out of the North Portland library the other day when I was picking up books to cram for the Graham Harman lecture that happened at school last night. My favorite part about the public library is the graphic novels section. That's where I found Special Exits, at the Lacey Library when I was living in Olympia.

Make Me a Woman is a bunch of diary comics, a lot of them are set in New York, some in Florida, some in California....Alexis, I think you'd really love them....they're about being jewish and they're so funny.


I also painted my nasty little claws.

Paid my tuition.
In it for another goddamned semester.
Administrators think I'm an undergrad, always.
My hair is turning grey.