dear video diary

these feelings don't age.

the next installment of lesbian infatuations...

I'm reading Zami: A New Spelling of my Name, by Audre Lord, and it's painful to put it down to continue the rest of my life. She's writing about the neighborhood I grew up in, too, and it just slathers on another layer of longing and nostalgia. I'm trying to ration the pages so I don't blow through it too quickly, but it's a challenge to not just churn through it all at once. Thank god for books and stories and writers who've lived their lives.

Creep it out, Creep it out, Creep it out, Creep it out

The weirdest thing about having a blog that no one reads is that it still gets all these page views. I know, because the internet is just a big spying machine, and almost 100 people in switzerland looked at it yesterday. using linux, according to google. What does that even MEAN?

also, the thing I am mostly stoked on right now is the reading for the class I'm taking on settler colonialism. It's hard to feel really busy and I've been canceling all my plans to make sure that I can finish the projects I've committed to and even then there aren't enough days in the week. I've been running further again, and I love running so much and I love trail running most of all. I didn't shower after work and my hair smells like pizza.

wake up anxious.

My love affair with tea is going really well.

chain mail

email me: totallydreaming@gmail.com

Personal Lies and Mythologies

Lie: If I eat soup for all of my meals, I'll be taking care of all my hydration needs.
Truth: No, it is still important to drink water.

Lie: It's not going to rain.
Truth: It is going to rain.

Lie: I'll remember that.
Truth: Write it down.

Lie: No one will notice the hole in my pants.
Truth: It doesn't matter if they notice or not, you're still going to act weird about it.

To be continued...

now is a time when fortune can be told anywhere you need it to be. a book, the line at the grocery store, a song on the radio. the whole world is talking.

Lydia Davis, Eileen Myles, Dorothy Parker, Amy Hempel. I'm harboring some very serious literary crushes right now.

Eileen Myles