Wednesday, October 28, 2009

bang on

hi kendra!
last of the druids

seeing your soul in photographs

the past few nights have been full of crazy dreams, all anxiety and worry and fears leaking out and soaking into every dream-spot. last night was imagined disco balls spilling light and sound and video across rooms and walls and faces, such a change from rejection and disappointment ballooning out of control and ruining any hope for restful sleep. It's so different to wake up awake. I'm escaping New York on November 14th, back to Olympia for however long. I've got an idea of what's out there and I'm ok with it. I feel like molasses and roofing tar and toothpaste and I want to be alone and listen to the Clash and The Breeders and Brian Eno. SO THERE!

Monday, October 26, 2009

the best thing i ever wrote

[26 Feb 2007|12:29am]
today i felt used up and out of touch. i like riding my bike in the snow. i like the sound of snowflakes hitting trees, and the way it coats my tires when i ride through drifts. i do that on purpose, even though it's not a very good idea. it's satisfying. this summer we're going to ragtag around and get drunk in the woods with our sun-kissed faces and skinned knees and grass-stained bike-chained shins. maybe it's not true at all, but it's the calming sort of open-invitation that lets me sleep at night. i want the world to be a better place than i think it is, and I want to be in it or above it, but not dragged through it. of course it won't happen, because growing up kills that sort of thing, and thinking about beauty and good looks and adulthood hurts something in me. i take it all too seriously.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


I'm feeling mightily panicked, tomorrow I'm supposed to hang out with my mom, but I think I might dick out and reread Things are Meaning less before I go out to the movies and watch Stranger than Paradise at BAM.

Drop out, I wanna join a gym and listen to the Cramps every moment of every day.