Thursday, June 28, 2012

midnight soul spilling

today ruled. went on a run, dug a new garden bed and then sat on the porch reading ariel schrag 'cause i thought i was gunna feel too stupid trying to power on through the trillion page spivak book. lisa called, so i went and sat at the coffee shop next to the drum shop and waited for her to finish teaching. i think the hardest part of the spivak book is the introduction, or else, the first chapter feels way more accessible, thank god. the introduction left me feeling so defeated.

kevin and i hung out yesterday and went and saw 'being john malcovich' at the academy theater. it felt really good to bike out to 82nd. It's nice to see the neighborhoods shift. I like the area around 52nd a lot. nice houses. Kevin was talking about moving away, which I would fucking do if I hadn't just moved here, but still made me sad 'cause i was stoked to hang out with him in portland, but i didn't say anything. (it's ok to talk about real people in a blog, right? 'cause barely anyone reads this?)

allie told me she thinks i've got my shit together, which is the second time someones said that and i've been shocked. maybe my standards are fucked, or maybe i keep it together more than i think i do, but i am completely at a loss for what the fuck i'm doing. when kevin asked what i was going to study yesterday i started talking, and then couldn't stop, even though i wasn't making was seriously straight out of junior high, where you hope to god that if you just bullshit enough something will make sense. except i was trying to talk about something i care about, and just listened to complete nonsense spewing out of my face.

i also started writing my loneliness zine, which i think will be offered in installments.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Monday, June 18, 2012

my favorite portland places...

these are from TITLE WAVE, the Multnomah County Library System's used book store.
This is what Title Wave looks like

Stuff from SCRAP...difficult to see but important to notice are the bottles of gold enamel and olive green ink for $.25/ea.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

heroic brains

by nele broenner 
Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak, oh my god, she's WONDERFUL!!!!

Loretta Ross, she's so amazing!!!!

Statement of Solidarity with African American Women

We who trust women stand in solidarity with and support of SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective, SPARK Reproductive Justice NOW!, SisterLove, Planned Parenthood of Georgia, and Feminist Women's Health Center to affirm our belief that every woman has the human right to decide if and when she will have a baby, and the right to parent the children she already has with the social supports necessary. In our struggle for reproductive justice, African American women have a unique history that we must remember in order to ensure bodily sovereignty, dignity, and collective uplift of our community. The choices that women of color make are based on their lived experiences in this country and reflect multiple oppressions, including race, class, and gender, and their efforts to resist them. It is unacceptable to speak to the needs of any woman, or her children without taking into consideration the realities that exist in her home and local community.

We affirm that an African American woman's ability to determine if and when she will have children demands that she control the conditions under which she will give birth and have the power to decide the spacing of her children. These freedoms speak to the power and necessity of the preventive care of women before they become pregnant and the importance of comprehensive sex education for all of our children to understand their human right to sexuality in an empowering and responsible way. It means fully funding public education, protecting the environment in all communities, and eliminating sexual violence for all women.

We affirm that an African American woman's ability to determine if and when she does not have children must include a full range of options including the right to have an abortion. For women of color the privilege to exercise this right all too often hinges on other factors in her home and community. Abortion must be approached in the context of the individual woman and the circumstances surrounding her, such as poverty, sexual abuse, or the lack of health care. To extract a woman from the context of her life dishonors her lived experiences and the plight of a broader community of people.

We affirm that African American women have the human right to parent the children they already have. To ensure the full enjoyment of this right, they must also have access to the social supports necessary to raise their children in safe environments and healthy communities, without fear of violence from individuals or intervention by the government. A continuum of care is essential to protect the lives of women and children. And we must prioritize the needs of children after birth. This includes funding education, investing in health care reform for all, ensuring food security and prioritizing the unification of our families through the provision of social supports to protect the most vulnerable.

Protecting women and children requires a commitment to these principles. It is a matter of reproductive health, reproductive rights, and ultimately Reproductive Justice.

February 2010

Tim Wise

ohmygawd, i just pledged to my first kickstarter!

not having a job has really opened up my mind to the potential of limitless spending...

Saturday, June 16, 2012

i climbed a mountain, nbd

yesterday, I went with Drummer and her friend Mariah to Dog Mountain. It was very sweet of them to invite me. This makes the second mountain that I have stupidly climbed in my Vans sk8his. My legs fucking HURT today. We took the easier trail, but the first .7 mile and the last mile were iinnnttteennnseee. The view from the summit was pretty serious, and I got to have a Heidi moment as we traipsed through all of the wild flowers. I would never have gone if I'd known how steep it would be, so I'm glad that no one told me. Now i've got a lovely sunburn and aching hamstrings, so it seems like summer's started. I also ate springrolls on top of a mountain (first time!!!) and found this perfect combination of outdoorsy spirit/internet appreciation carved into a tree:

oh! there was also this amazing aspect to the experience: So there's strawberries growing up there, and the sun hits the strawberries and pine needles, releasing the most heavenly smell i've ever experienced. Seriously, and sorry for gushing, but it blew my fucking mind. 
the heidi fantasy
it was higher than it looks!
The hike was 3.1 miles (?) each way, but it took forever, because we had to pause at the top and talk about facebook at the top....and also because it was difficult (though apparently not for the gads of senior citizens bouncing up the trail like mountain goats. i'm not sure if that's what i want for myself at 80, but i'm glad they've got it). We stopped at Multnomah falls on the way back, which was also nice, but I was exhausted and wanted to shower.

too tired right now to write in any kind of interesting day, goodnight!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

i'm feeling really disheartened about aligning my political beliefs with my aesthetics in an academic realm. #thisiswhytheyinventedtwitter

homesick for new england

i just wanna stick my feet in the atlantic and climb up on some granite and be in gloucester.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

to kendra, the only person that i know for certain is out there and has the skills for this...

i'm trying to find articles or books that relate to the intersection of art theory and critical race theory....anything that looks at art, art production, art theory, museum studies, galleries, art movements, etc through a lens that considers the intersection of race, gender, sexuality and other aspects of a person's identity. i'm having a really difficult time finding any single thing! i know it's out there :(

Sunday, June 10, 2012

i'm in olympia RIGHT NOW

So I deleted my facebook account in favor of this:

I haven't written in it yet, because I'm in olympia and i'm fucking holed up in Colleen's apartment using her computer like a serious fiend (hi Colleen!). I've been reading sneaker blogs 'cause Keds x playcloths are coming out with cameo keds that i wanna get. (like I need another pair of sneakers, even?!)

 I moved to Portland and am not feeling as lonely as I was before, though I am avoiding the part where I check my bank account balance and freak out because I don't have a job. I'm in Olympia right now, helping Sarah Adams and Ryan McClain fix up their apartment. It feels seriously weird to not actually live here and walk around hanging out.

Drummer, Allie and I went to the Japanther vs. Nightshade shadow puppet show at Disjecta and it looked so rad. I'd biked through the torrential rain to get there, though, so I felt super distracted and spazzed out.

Damn, it feels so good to not be able to be on facebook right now, that shit makes me feel so sad and panicky. I felt like all I was ever doing was stirring my anxiety around: imagining how much fun everyone else is having and getting weird and stressy about whether anyone cared about me in some fucked up, twisted passive way 'cause who the fuck uses facebook as their primary way of showing friendship or affection or whatever? Whatever. It was feeding my loneliness, and at least now I can write in my facebook journal, go windowshopping on the internet and watch the olympia pride parade. and I can fucking do that all by my fucking self and be fucking ecstatic.

oh shit! the hair zine 2 is gunna be a featured local zine at red and black!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Just painting pictures of foucault and listening to the clash, nbd

Monday, June 4, 2012

"the middle class is beginning to disappear. Abject poverty (previously, decorously hidden away like a demented maiden aunt in a nineteenth-century new england attic) has emerged as a major reality of life." -victor papanek