It's the end of March, a wonderful time in the world. Allergy-free, thank GAWD, I'm able to see the trees through clear little eyes and smell the smells through uncrusted nostrils. Contrary and Stubborn as ever, not to mention hopelessly behind the times, I've decided to settle on some New Years Resolutions. What a miserable time to turn over, in January. Much better to wait until misery can be squashed down for another nine months. SO, this year, I, Hannah Horovitz, r, e, s, o, l, v, e, , , , t , , ,o,,,,,

1. Collect as many items designed or written By Leanne Shapton. This resolution actually, really, sort of doubles as a resolution to do more than just scramble desperately at every book I can get for cheap at the library book sales and be more thoughtful about how pretty everything looks on the shelf, as well as how perfectly intelligent I can make myself appear.



2. Run a lot. More than a mile. check. More than 3 miles. check. More than 5 miles. Check. I will continue to shock and amaze even myself, if not others, with my motivation, stamina and wheedling others to join me on jogs around routes I've mapped out on google.

3. Don't fucking date anyone. In the spirit of youth and lust for life, I will be thoroughly disappointed in myself if I fail to break this resolution, but there's nothing like being able to say "I told you so" to your very own destroyed self that spares those around you from enduring the endless recounting of the ravages of failed romance.

4. Focus more on creating and less on looking at photos on the internet. Ideas: embroidery, songs about how little care I have for Tom Waits and fans of that man, chipper letters to friends and mom, figuring out how I can buy and decorate a nice little house all of my own, managing to get into grad school without any motivation or effort.

5. Just because the cookies I've made are gluten and sugar free does not mean that I'm not going to feel sick when I eat five of them, even if it's just to see if they taste ok.

6. Grow my hair long enough to tie it into a side bun.


7. Have sales of embroidery and patches fund or supplement my internet and real-life record shopping problem.

8. Nix dichotomies and binaries in favor of more nuanced outlooks and perspectives.

9. Work on breaking out of negative cycles and making different mistakes than the ones my parents and theirs before them have made.

10. Go live on that farm with Erika and Jonna in TN and see if I can talk them into learning to rollerblade with me. From there, go on to suggest that we revolutionize the transportation we rely on to include goofy foot powered options.