early birthday

communal dreaming

On school trips, going uptown, I used to dream of owning a building with all of my friends. When I was older, maybe highschool and beyond, I still felt the same way. I dreamed of buying an entire city block and demolishing the fences between the gardens, building a shared courtyard between all the buildings. blocking off all the doors, growing our own food, watching our own movies, doing our own thing. It was a seriously separatist dream, before I had any conception of lesbian separatism, wing nut libertarians, artist colonies, all that shit. God, it's such a good fucking dream. I wish I could corral all the darlings from across the universe and squeeze them into the same city block-sized shared apartment and never miss anyone anymore. I'm so sick of missing people. It gets in the way of not missing people and that is a horrible truth to face. We could all quit our jobs and smile at each other and I'd cook everyone dinner for the rest of time.

all I want for christmas and my birthday is for someone to hold my hand through figuring out how I can take art classes at the city college of san francisco. and maybe pay for them..?

san francisco! san francisco! san francisco!

I'm moving closer to the sun, to smile at babies and grapefruit. God damnit, I am terrified of the entire future!